Common interests
by OnlineFisher
Summary: What happens when lister find a PDA and decides to share it with rimmer
1. Default Chapter

Title: Common interests  
  
Author: Snacky  
  
Email: snknjak@yahoo.com  
  
Rating: PG or PG-13  
  
Summary: What would happen if Lister found a PDA and shared it with Rimmer. In the format of Lister and Rimmer chat.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dwarf or any of its characters, they belong to Ed bye, Grant and Naylor and the people at the BBC. I make no profit from this Fic; it's purely for entertainment.  
  
A/N After doing a Stargate emailing Fic, I wondered what it would be like to have Lister and Rimmer chatting in messenger. This Is set like Blue Topaz's Stargate - His and Hers series, which if you like Stargate I suggest you check it out, a brilliant story by a brilliant author!  
  
Note: To help confusion, the first part is to lead into the getting of the PDA's and the next parts will just is them chatting, got it? Good!  
  
It was one of those days that was so boring you felt like setting your hair on fire just so you would have something to do. That's why Dave Lister decided to go search all the officers quarters, well not all of them that would take way to long.  
  
So far he had gone through three of the officers quarters and the most remotely interesting thing he had found was a packet of whiskey chewing gum.  
  
He had now entered the fourth quarters, this when he found laying on The table two PDA's. He had seen these before only the higher ups were allowed to use them. It was like a little computer that fit into the palm of your hand, games, music, document recorder and the best bit messaging. Unfortunately if he wanted to use this feature he would have to give it to either the cat Kryten or Rimmer.  
  
He took them both and decided to go play with them in his quarters.  
  
It had been two days since he found his PDA's and he wanted to try out the messenger feature but he knew that as soon as he did he'd never get one of them back. In the end he decided to give it to Rimmer, Not the most likely choice I know but if he gave it to the Cat he'd either ignore him or constantly tell him what he was doing or how nice he was, Besides The Cat slept most of day anyway.  
  
He though of giving it to Kryten but Kryten would probably constantly as him how he was and if he needed anything. So by the powers of deduction that left him with Rimmer.   
  
Lately he only saw Rimmer at night because with him only recently getting his hard light drive he had decided to go exploring the ship by himself. Now that he had finally made his decision he had to get to work on getting an impossibly unbeatable score on Rimmer's PDA.  
  
He had just gotten his highest score when Rimmer came walking in.  
  
"Hey man!"  
  
"Listy! I can see you've had a very productive day"  
  
"Yea, yea, I actually wanted to give you this"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well I just wanted to try it out, ya know if you get bored you can talk to me"  
  
"Lister the whole reason I go exploring the ship is to get away from you, you ugly goit!"  
  
"Fine if you don't want it"  
  
"I never said I didn't want it"  
  
"alright here you go, Night"  
  
"Yea"  
  
A/N ah so it's all been set up. Please read and review, I need to know if I should continue or not.  
  
The next chapter will be in messaging format and if I continue, will be for the rest of the Fic. 


	2. Considering

Title: Common interests  
  
Author: Snacky  
  
Email: snknjak@yahoo.com  
  
Rating: PG or PG-13  
  
Summary: What would happen if Lister found a PDA and shared it with Rimmer. In the format of Lister and Rimmer chat.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dwarf or any of it's characters, they belong to Ed bye, Grant and Naylor and the people at the BBC.#  
  
I make no profit from this Fic, It's purely for entertainment.  
  
A/N After doing an Stargate emailing Fic, I wondered what it would be like to have Lister and Rimmer chatting in messenger.   
  
This Is set like Blue Topaz's Stargate - His and Hers series, which if you like Stargate I suggest you check it out, a brilliant story by a brilliant author!.  
  
Note: To help confusion, the first part is to lead into the getting of the PDA's and the next part will just be them chatting, got it? Good!  
  
Note 2: Please don't review by telling me about the punctuation and spelling mistakes, if they are during the bits where Lister and Rimmer are Chatting they are probably meant to be there.  
  
I can't believe that them two are perfect spellers. Most of us aren't when we message!  
  
12.35 D. Lister  
  
Rimmer?  
  
12.36 D. Lister  
  
Oi, Smeg head  
  
12.37 D. Lister  
  
Rimmmmeeerrrrr!!!  
  
12.37 D. Lister  
  
Bone head  
  
12.38 D. Lister  
  
Oi ya dead git answer me! I didnt give you that just so ya could ignore me. stop being an arse and message me!  
  
12.38 A.J.Rimmer  
  
WHAT!  
  
12.39 D. Lister  
  
where are you?  
  
12.39 A.J.Rimmer  
  
The drive room  
  
12.39 D. Lister  
  
Why?  
  
12.39 A.J.Rimmer  
  
I'm watching some videos now smeg off I'm busy!  
  
12.39 D. Lister  
  
Oh for a minute I thought you might be doing something slightly interesting!  
  
~~~~  
  
13.01 D. Lister  
  
What ya doing?  
  
13.02 A.J.Rimmer  
  
smeg off!  
  
13.02 D. Lister  
  
What the hell has wedged it's self up your arse!  
  
~~~~~  
  
13.32 D. Lister  
  
I want the pda back  
  
13.32 A.J.Rimmer  
  
No  
  
13.32 D. Lister  
  
I only gave you it so I could talk to someone and that aint happening  
  
13.32 A.J.Rimmer  
  
I'm not giving it back  
  
13.33 D. Lister  
  
I'll take it back then  
  
~~~~~  
  
13.45 D. Lister  
  
I thought you were in the drive room  
  
13.45 A.J.Rimmer  
  
I was  
  
13.45 D. Lister  
  
where are you now?  
  
133.46 A.J.Rimmer  
  
How stupid do you think I am! Im not going to sit there and wait for you to take it am I?  
  
13.47 A.J.Rimmer  
  
Lister?  
  
13.48 A.J.Rimmer  
  
You'll never find me listy I'm the master at hiding!  
  
~~~~  
  
16.19 A.J.Rimmer  
  
Lister  
  
16.19 D. Lister  
  
What?  
  
16.19 A.J.Rimmer  
  
there's something wrong with that walking washing machine  
  
16.20 D. Lister  
  
Kryten? Whats he doing?  
  
16.20 A.J.Rimmer  
  
He keeps asking me to give him all my clothes so he can wash them  
  
16.20 D. Lister  
  
Weird, I'll get holly to find out whats wrong  
  
16.21 A.J.Rimmer  
  
Good luck!  
  
16.21 D. Lister  
  
good luck?  
  
16.21 A.J.Rimmer  
  
Ive already tried she wont answer  
  
16.21 D. Lister  
  
I'll try anyway  
  
16.23 A.J.Rimmer  
  
What you doing?  
  
16.23 D. Lister  
  
Blowing bubble gum, why do want to talk all of a sudden?  
  
16.23 A.J.Rimmer  
  
I dont I was just wondering  
  
16.23 D. Lister  
  
so your bored?  
  
16.23 A.J.Rimmer  
  
no  
  
16.23 D. Lister  
  
I told you it would come in handy  
  
16.24 A.J.Rimmer  
  
why are you blowing bubbles?  
  
16.24 D. Lister  
  
fine but im right, Im blowing bubbles coz Im trying to beat the worlds record for the largest bubble  
  
16.24 A.J.Rimmer  
  
why?  
  
16.24 D. Lister  
  
same reason your talking to me  
  
16.26 D. Lister  
  
Rimmer?  
  
16.26 D. Lister  
  
why do you always read books on engineering and astronavigation when they bore your brains out?  
  
16.27 A.J.Rimmer  
  
why do you want to know?  
  
16.27 D. Lister  
  
dunno I just always wondered  
  
16.27 A.J.Rimmer  
  
you really want to know?  
  
16.27 D. Lister  
  
yes  
  
16.27 A.J.Rimmer  
  
Your positive?  
  
16.28 D. Lister  
  
yes!  
  
16.28 A.J.Rimmer  
  
absolutely sure?  
  
16.28 D. Lister  
  
for smeg sake rimmer just tell me already!  
  
16.30 A.J.Rimmer  
  
my father always wanted us to be in the space core, join up and become an officer.  
  
I thought that if I could join, pass and become and engineer or navigation officer my father would be proud.  
  
after all he always used to quiz us, particulary on that subject.  
  
It didnt matter that I had no interest in it what so ever.  
  
  
  
16.31 D. Lister  
  
there is other ways to become an officer  
  
16.31 A.J.Rimmer  
  
I know but thats not whats important to him  
  
16.31 D. Lister  
  
your fathers dead why not do something you want to do?  
  
16.32 A.J.Rimmer  
  
I don't know  
  
~~~~~~  
  
23.56 D. Lister  
  
Im going to sleep soon don't wake me will ya  
  
23.57 A.J.Rimmer  
  
I'm going to sleep somewere else tonight  
  
23.57 D. Lister  
  
why?  
  
23.57 A.J.Rimmer  
  
I've travelled to far down the ship to come back up now I'll be back in a few days  
  
  
  
23.57 D. Lister  
  
ok man, cya  
  
Feedback!, Feedback!, please don't flame, I can't stand the heat! 


	3. Sleep

Title: **Common interests**

Author: Fisher (Snacky)

Email: onlinefishin@yahoo.co.uk

Rating: PG or PG-13

Summary: What would happen if Lister found a PDA and shared it with Rimmer. In the format of Lister and Rimmer chat.

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dwarf or any of it's characters, they belong to Ed bye, Grant and Naylor and the people at the BBC. I make no profit from this Fic, It's purely for entertainment.

A/N I thought I'd try doing a bit more to this Fic, not sure where it going at this particular moment in time. I'm not happy with the whole friends thing (you know when you read it) problem is, writing Stargate fan fiction, The characters are all mates and trying to write for two people who don't like each other is rather difficult when you've never done it before or experienced it! (:D I like everyone you see)

****

06.12 A.J.Rimmer

Morning

****

06.12 D. Lister

Smegging hell, you're up early!

****

06.12 A.J.Rimmer

Early to rise Listy

****

06.12 D. Lister

Yea, Yea

****

06.13 A.J.Rimmer

What kind of slobbyness you got planed for today?

****

06.13 D. Lister

Thought I'd bug you actually

****

06.13 A.J.Rimmer

Oh, Great

06.13 D. Lister

Come on I know you like talking to me really

****

06.13 A.J.Rimmer

Ah but were not talking are we?

****

06.13 D. Lister

You know what I mean

****

06.16 D. Lister

So what ya doing?

****

06.16 A.J.Rimmer

I'm really getting sick of you constantly asking me what I'm doing

****

06.16 D. Lister

What ya doin?

****

06.16 A.J.Rimmer

I'm exploring the lower decks like I have for the past few weeks! you happy now

****

06.16 D. Lister

No I'm bored

****

06.16 A.J.Rimmer

Oh, get a hobby

****

06.16 D. Lister

I have one

****

06.16 A.J.Rimmer

You do and what pray tell might that be? collecting toe nail clippings? trying to find the most crappiest things to watch on tv

****

06.17 D. Lister

Don't be stupid

****

06.17 A.J.Rimmer

Come on then Listy, what is it?

****

06.17 D. Lister

bugging you

****

06.17 A.J.Rimmer

Bastard

****

06.17 D. Lister

See, it's fun!

****

06.17 A.J.Rimmer

Smeg off!

****

06.17 D. Lister

Oh come on, I'm only messin

06.17 A.J.Rimmer

Oh are you really

****

06.17 D. Lister

Yes, well it aint half as fun annoying you when I can't see you

****

06.18 A.J.Rimmer

Why does everyone try to get me angry, why do you, when you know I hate it?

****

06.18 D. Lister

It's because you react, it wouldn't be near enough as much fun if you ignored it

06.18 A.J.Rimmer

Oh and I thought it was because you hate me

****

06.18 D. Lister

Nah, well sometimes but I don't hate you, ya just seriously piss me off sometimes

****

06.18 A.J.Rimmer

You don't hate me?

****

06.18 D. Lister

No

****

06.18 A.J.Rimmer

So are we friends?

06.18 D. Lister

I wouldn't go that far

****

06.18 A.J.Rimmer

Oh

****

06.20 D. Lister

To be friends we'd both have to like each other!

****

06.20 A.J.Rimmer

Oh

****

06.21 D. Lister

Rimmer?

****

06.22 D. Lister

Rimmer?

****

06.24 D. Lister

Rimmer?

****

06.30 D. Lister

Are you ok?

****

06.30 A.J.Rimmer

I'm fine leave me alone!

****

08.34 A.J.Rimmer

I like you sometimes.

****

08.34 D. Lister

What?!

****

08.35 D. Lister

I thought you hated my guts, you even told me!

****

08.35 A.J.Rimmer

That's going back a bit and even then I told you I didn't like what you stood for.

****

08.35 D. Lister

You told me you hate me a few days ago

****

08.35 A.J.Rimmer

What do you expect when go through my entire record collection and put every disk in the wrong case! 'oh thanks listy, I never thought of ordering my collection that way before'

****

08.35 D. Lister

Hey! you were the one who thought it was funny to lock me in quarantine and play your organ music for me for 5 hours strait!

****

08.36 A.J.Rimmer

I wouldn't have done that if you hadn't convinced holly to alter my programme so I spent the entire day looking like a 80's game show host!!

****

08.36 D. Lister

If we don't stop now I don't think we never will, the point was I never thought you didn't hate me.

****

08.36A.J.Rimmer

Fine 

****

08.36 D. Lister

So you don't hate me?

****

08.36 A.J.Rimmer

No

****

08.37 D. Lister

Want to make a pact Rimmer?

****

08.37 A.J.Rimmer

What?

****

08.37 D. Lister

We try to be civilized to each other, not to much I still love do annoy you, just you know I'll try not to put you down and ya know...

****

08.38 A.J.Rimmer

Are we friends?

****

08.38 D. Lister

I guess

****

08.38 A.J.Rimmer

Ok

****

08.38 D. Lister

So Rimmer mate, What are you doing up? I would've thought you'd go back to sleep.

****

08.38 A.J.Rimmer

I can't sleep, you?

****

08.38 D. Lister

I found a model red dwarf you can make

****

08.39 A.J.Rimmer

How sad Listy

****

08.39 D. Lister

Hey I'm not the one walking around the ship for no reason

****

08.39 A.J.Rimmer

I have reasons

****

08.39 D. Lister

Any you'd like to share

****

08.39 A.J.Rimmer

No

****

08.39 D. Lister

Alright

****

08.40 A.J.Rimmer

Night

****

08.40 D. Lister

Its morning!

****

08.40 A.J.Rimmer

Well I'm not going to say good morning when I'm going to try to sleep!

08.40 D. Lister

Good point

****

08.40 A.J.Rimmer

Night, morning

****

08.40 D. Lister

Night Smeg head!

****

08.41 D. Lister

I'm Joking

08.41 A.J.Rimmer

I got that.

08.41 D. Lister

Good

****

09.02 D. Lister

You asleep?

****

09.02 D. Lister

?

09.03 D. Lister

?

09.03 D. Lister

?

09.03 D. Lister

?

****

09.04 D. Lister

?

****

09.04 D. Lister

?

09.04 A.J.Rimmer

Pack it in, I'm trying to sleep!

****

09.04 D. Lister

I knew you were awake!

09.04 A.J.Rimmer

Of course I am this damn thing keeps beeping, Stop it!

****

09.04 D. Lister

Soz Night!

15.12 A.J.Rimmer

Lister?

****

15.12 A.J.Rimmer

Hello?

****

15.12 A.J.Rimmer

Lister!

****

15.13 D. Lister

Rimmer I'm trying to sleep!

****

15.13 A.J.Rimmer

Its 3 in the afternoon!

****

15.13 D. Lister

So! I sleep when I'm tired, what else is there to do?!

****

15.13 A.J.Rimmer

I don't know

****

15.13 D. Lister

See! now let me sleep!

****

17.44 A.J.Rimmer

Lister, you awake yet?

****

17.44 A.J.Rimmer

Lister?

****

17.44 A.J.Rimmer

?

****

17.44 A.J.Rimmer

?

****

17.44 A.J.Rimmer

?

****

17.44 A.J.Rimmer

?

****

17.44 A.J.Rimmer

?

****

17.44 A.J.Rimmer

?

****

17.44 A.J.Rimmer

?

****

17.45 D. Lister

Oi, what ya doin, I'm trying to sleep!

17.45 A.J.Rimmer

Nothing just something I learnt from a friend of mine

****

17.45 D. Lister

What have I let myself in for?!?!

****

17.45A.J.Rimmer

Now you're awake want to chat?

****

17.45 D. Lister

No I'm off back to bed! don't you dare wake me!

****

19.32 D. Lister

Wow you left me alone

****

19.32 A.J.Rimmer

Don't get used to it, I found an intriguing engine down here, you have to see the photos when I get back

19.32 D. Lister

No thanks

19.32 A.J.Rimmer

You would pass up the opportunity so see some of the most highly advanced machinery

****

19.32 D. Lister

yep

****

19.33A.J.Rimmer

You have no idea what your missing

****

19.33 D. Lister

I have an idea

****

19.33 A.J.Rimmer

are you going to ask me what I'm doing?

****

19.33 D. Lister

Why on earth would I want to know that?

19.33 A.J.Rimmer

Gimp!

19.34 D. Lister

Name calling ay?

****

19.34 A.J.Rimmer

Problem?

****

19.34 D. Lister

No at all.


	4. A little flirting never did me any harm

After I read pikapal101's Fic (hi again by the way:D) I went looking for fic's to pass some time, then I came across this old chestnut of mine and I thought well, I'm tired, I'm sick, full of cold and really don't have anytime to be writing fan fiction - why not update this Fic.

I know, I know. I said I was never going to continue with this Fic, but although I think it's absolutely appalling, some of you seem to like it and it gives me the opportunity to talk to myself ... why not, Lets just all agree, in advance that this Fic is terrible - nothing compared to such works as "somewhere else" "Conversations" "Underneath your clothes" "Love and friendship" "getting started" and "hollow ship"

Well maybe it would have been easier to just mention the authors... Noydb, LuvsRimmer, Kipper's vindaloo and Feline ranger... Their is more, but these are some of my fav Fics...which I must admit have read each, way to many times :P

So, this is an update, I have no idea if I will do another one so I apologise... and again I apologise for this Fic, I know what it's like to read terrible fan fiction - And no, I'm not picking on red dwarf ones...There are at least 10 different fandoms I have read, and I have read hundreds of Fics, so of course you do come across some awful Fics, wherever you are who wrote that Fic in text type - I'm still angry about that! And I'm not the angry type!

Ak! Essay! - If only I could apply this to my real work...

Toodles xXx

**

* * *

**

**11.12 D. Lister**

What's it like down there in the 'bowels of the ship'? (A/N did you know this is in the dictionary, yes? never mind then)

**11.12 A.J.Rimmer**

Mind numbing

**11.12 D. Lister**

Really? Thought it was intriguing yesterday

**11.12 A.J.Rimmer**

The engines are intriguing Listy, the bowels are not

**11.13 D. Lister**

But aren't the engines within the bowels?

**11.13 A.J.Rimmer**

Yes, but not in this bit, I think I'm lost

**11.13 D. Lister**

Why where are you?

**11.13 A.J.Rimmer**

Do you really need me to answer that?

**11.13 D. Lister**

Not really, the mirror is giving me a pretty mean glare.

**11.16 D. Lister**

So you don't know where you are?

**11.16 A.J.Rimmer**

I'm pretty sure that's what being lost is Lister...

**11.16 D. Lister**

Ah... need me to send out a search party?

**11.16 A.J.Rimmer**

I don't think that's necessary just yet.

**11.17 D. Lister**

Good, I've just started my breakie

**11.17 D. Lister**

Don't look at me that way!

**11.17 A.J.Rimmer**

What way?

**11.17 D. Lister**

The look, don't give me the look.

**11.18 A.J.Rimmer**

What look? I do not have 'a look'

**11.18 D. Lister**

You do, it's the same look you give me when I play my guitar.

**11.18 A.J.Rimmer**

That's pain Lister.

**11.18 D. Lister**

Not that look, the, it's disgusting, I'm appalled and yet I can't look away - look

**11.18 A.J.Rimmer**

Whatever

**11.18 D. Lister**

And don't give me that look!

**11.19 A.J.Rimmer**

I do not have a look!

**11.19 D. Lister**

No you have a thousand

**11.19 A.J.Rimmer**

Oh shut up.

**11.19 D. Lister**

I'm joking

**11.19 D. Lister**

Well, I'm not, you do have looks, and I'm just having a laugh

**11.20 D. Lister**

And when I say looks, I do mean, different looks not oh my god your so gorgeous - looks

**11.21 D. Lister**

Rimmer?

**11.21 A.J.Rimmer**

I chose to take it the second way, you pervert

**11.21 D. Lister**

Hey!

**11.22 A.J.Rimmer**

I'm still lost!

**11.23 D. Lister**

You know I didn't mean it that way.

**11.23 A.J.Rimmer**

I don't care, you said it and now you can't take it away - you think I'm a sexy beast god and you can't take it away and none of this matters because - I'M STILL LOST!

**11.23 D. Lister**

I do not think you're a sexy beast god! You idiot

**11.23 A.J.Rimmer**

Lister, what part of I'm still lost did you not understand?

**11.23 D. Lister**

The sexy bit...

**11.23 A.J.Rimmer**

For smegs sake Lister - would you shut up about that, I didn't say I thought you wanted to shag me, I said you thought I was sexy, now shut up and help me!

**11.24 D. Lister**

Shag you! You're a bit full of yourself

**11.24 A.J.Rimmer**

Lister!

**11.24 D. Lister**

And you're already shouting out my name and I didn't have to do anything!

**11.24 A.J.Rimmer**

I swear, when I get my hands on you... I'm going to beat you within an inch of your life...

**11.24 D. Lister**

And I thought it was me that had the crush on you...

**11.24 A.J.Rimmer**

Gah!

**11.24 D. Lister**

Why, Mr. Rimmer - I do say...

**11.24 A.J.Rimmer**

This isn't helping Lister

**11.24 D. Lister**

Calm down, I'll go find kryt's in a bit to find you.

**11.25 D. Lister**

And don't give me that look...!


End file.
